July 2006

There were 2 posts published in July 2006 (this is page 1 of 1).

Of Expletives

This post started out as a comment to Yiren’s entry on ‘Vulgarities’ but quickly snowballed into a mini-commentary instead.Hokkien expletives are generally not my cup of tea because they’re largely genitalia-related, but I’m absolutely fine with the word ‘fuck’.

Sometimes it’s not the word per se that is vulgar but the way that the ‘expletive’ is put across. For instance, I used to take offence at ‘lucky bastard’, which literally carries an extremely derogatory meaning. But then again, nobody really means that one’s an illegitimate child when they lash that out. I just learn to be more sensitive with such words the next time.

Back to the f-word, I used to refrain myself from using it. But then I realised ‘fuck’ per se is just an expression, much like an innocuous ‘shucks’ or a slightly less refined ‘shit’. My primary school English teacher used to share with us how her son would substitute ‘shucks’ for ‘shit’ or ‘fish’ for ‘fuck’, but does that make the ‘expression’ any more refined?

Inherently, ‘fuck’ is just a slang for ‘having sex’. I wonder then why aren’t the words ‘having sex’ as profane as ‘fuck’ is? In that respect, shouldn’t ‘lucky bastard/bitch’, ‘bloody retard’ or even ‘spastic’ be much more hurtful than a natural and inherently innocuous act of, having sex?

When things screw (yet another slang for ‘having sex’) up, many people would curse ‘Shit’. ‘Shit’ per se is senseless. I mean, what has one’s excrement got to do with anything? One can thus conclude that ‘shit’ is little different from the Hokkien expletives worshipping the human genitalia. But the fact that ‘shit’ is considered mildy offensive while ‘vagina’ and ‘penis’ (in Hokkien) is considered extremely offensive is food for thought.

English is a living language. Words are constantly being added (think ‘blog’) and revised. The widespread acceptance and usage of common expletives such as ‘screw’, ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’ had prompted lexicographers to revise and add on to the original meanings of these words. ‘Screw’ is no longer just that innocent-looking metal pin with helical thread but also an act of sexual intercourse. Similarly, ‘fuck’ is no longer just an act of sexual intercourse but also an exclamation for anger, annoyance or contempt. In fact, ‘fuck’ is so versatile that it can be used as a verb, noun, adjective, adverb or interjection.

You know you really need the f-word when you need to use more than one adjective to describe something. “The movie’s damn bloody freaking good!!” will never do as much justice as “The movie’s fucking good!!” When “Get lost!” doesn’t work, “Fuck off!” definitely sends a more unequivocal message.

I’d say we use our wisdom to embrace some of these changes but should also be more mindful to our peers who may be less tolerant of expletives than we are.

Of Teachers and Friends

Today saw me having my first ever tuition stint; incidentally and ironically, it was also the last, for this student at least. Oh in case you’re wondering, I was sacked right after the tuition through the person who referred me.

I always think of myself as a perfectionist when it comes to teaching. I spend an obscene amount of time (by typical student-tutor’s standards) on the lesson preparation beforehand. It was like this when I attempted to help Sharon with her Computing; it was like this when I helped my cousin with her English; and it is the same exact effort that I’ve put in for this student.

I went ahead to purchase three rather specific guidebooks (being combined sciences instead of the pure ones) and the TYS (five year series, to be more exact) yesterday to prepare for the lesson. I studied the guide, I wrote some notes, I did some questions and picked some for her.

By the time I finished going through the notes on Arithmetic with her, I could sense bewilderment in her.

“But these are Sec 2 stuff right,” she half exclaimed.

“Yes, they are what you’ve learnt in lower secondary, but you’ll still be tested on arithmetics,” I explained while flipping the 19-pages worth of the supposedly “Secondary 2” questions in the past five years of ‘O’ Levels.

Reluctantly, she did 3 Paper One questions which took her quite a bit of time. When she have finished, I noticed half of them was not attempted and the rest was largely wrong. I had initially thought that she might have been pretty good with her maths hence her reluctance to revise on a ‘Sec 2’ topic.

I was pretty freaked before the lesson because I kept thinking what to do after we are done with arithmetics. But an hour and a half later, she was still struggling with the concepts of the three questions. I had to revise on how to do the working for division of decimals, highest common factors, lowest common multiples and significant figures. She went out to refill her water but I knew she was also going to tell her mum something. The moment she stepped out, I thought I heard her mumbled ‘Shit’ under her breath.

“Shit,” I thought to myself. Did I do something so wrong? Well, when she came back to finish her last 30 minutes of lesson, I gave her similar questions to reinforce her knowledge. She still had problems getting them right at first go, but I thought it was better than the first three.

When the tuition had finally ended, I went outside and spoke with the mother before leaving. The mother told me that her daughter is confused by my teaching and that she’ll “see how” for the next lesson. So yes, I am right, she did tell her mum something. But on the other hand, I thought both of us got more warmed up during the last 30 mins and she might change her mind.

Well, yes, she did told her mum something after I left. The mother called up the person who referred me and told him that I should not come for the next lesson. The mother says that I was teaching Secondary 2 work which was irrelevant.

So, that was 2 hours of work that she did not believe in. I felt sad, but not really for myself, but more for her. Why live in self-delusions? If it’s really Secondary 2 work and that she doesn’t need any revision, why did she had problems with them? I felt sad, I took thrice to help Sharon with her computing and didn’t really manage to help my cousin with her English. I felt sad, because I felt I could help her, but I am no longer given the chance to. Do I really make such a bad teacher?

We have come pretty far from our parents’ stories about terrifying teachers who hammer their students with their fists when they misbehave. These days, students choose their teachers. They embarass, they tease, they irk, they provoke teachers that they do not like. What choice did our parents had when they had “bad” teachers? Not much.

I’m not saying that we should accept 2nd-grade teachers. But have we become less tolerant in a world of instant gratification? A person came to mind as thoughts ran through. I remember a Physics tutor back in JC whom practically no one would like to have as their tutor. I was told that he was really dedicated to his task and I truly believe so. Apparently, he just couldn’t manage to get his ideas through effectively to his students. A pity though, he’s no longer around.

I was also told by my “cleverer” peers in RI/RJ that teachers who are “incompetent” are readily challenged and humiliated in class. Have the society, in the blind pursuit of efficacy, lose some sense of their humanity as well?

About a month ago, a long-lost friend contacted me one evening for a chat. It was rather heartwarming to know that he still remembered me and took the initiative to contact me. We chatted for almost half an hour before he suggested that we meet up some time, to which I readily agreed, of course. The next time we chatted, he suggested that we should meet up at Raffles Place. Suddenly, the seemingly innocent conversation did not seem too innocent after all.

No person in the sane mind would want to catch up with your old friends at Raffles Place unless they’re trying to convince you to buy something. This chap is good, so good that I didn’t suspect anything at all during our first conversation. Or was I just too naive? I told him firmly that I’m not interested to buy anything, to which he readily defended that he wasn’t going to sell me anything and that what I’ve said had hurt him. Well, it seems that he has polished his sales pitch (albeit in disguise) so well that your average person would relent and fall for it. But I’ve heard all too much about people around me being whisked into seemingly posh offices in Raffles Place by their friends, only to be cornered by alot of sales person to convince you to buy something you do not really need.

“No”, I insisted. “I’m really glad that you contacted me and I’d be more than happy to meet you for a cup of coffee anywhere but Raffles Place.”

“Ok ok, I will call you again to arrange next time,” he promised but still hasn’t fulfiled.

It hurts even more to know that he had lied to me that he was at his friend’s place when he’s at his office in Raffles Place when he made those phone calls. It didn’t make sense when there were people singing birthday song in the background at his “friend’s place” while he was chatting away with someone else that he had not contacted for two years. It all came to light when he mentioned “Raffles Place”.

It seems that such MLM companies are bringing out the worst of many so-called friends. I don’t know why, but I would never be able to call up my friends to convince them to borrow exorbitant sums of money to purchase something that they really have no need for. Sharon just told me that one of our classmate was recently scammed $800 after much pressure from four of her friends. That classmate was definitely nowhere near well-to-do and she had to lie that her family is in dire need of money to about 10 of her friends to borrow that sum.

Perhaps you may think that she’s silly. Yes, I think she’s silly too. But I also know how much pressure these “friends” of yours can exert on you once you step into their offices. It takes much courage to decline their offer firmly and to walk out of that office. Being the blur and gullible one, it was easy to pressurise her into buying the products.

It was a painful lesson for her financially and a painful one for me emotionally, but at least we got to know our “friends” better.